What has 2022 taught you so far?
This weekend we were out for our regular Sunday morning adventure in nature and I felt it. You know it, it’s that different feeling in the air. It’s crisper, and the light feels different. There is change in the air, and you know that the season’s change is coming.
September and fall have always marked another new year of sorts. This week I helped my daughter, Sophie, set up her classroom. Ready for her and her students’ new year.
At the end of the year, I tend to reflect on what the year has gifted me, what I have learned, and where I am going.
I will do so in the winter evenings between Christmas and New Years, for certain, and have decided to reflect on what I have so far learned this year.
I am often asked to talk about the trifecta of JOY. The three elements to living with more joy in life. As I was reflecting, I noticed my lessons could be identified in these different areas so easily!
Holding opposing feelings is normal.
I love how the Universe teaches us things in the strangest ways. This year I feel deeply aware of holding opposing feelings at the same time.
When we interred my first father-in-laws ashes on what would have been his son’s and my 28th wedding anniversary, I felt proud in how my own boys showed up to honour their family, but deep personal grief for the complicated relationship we have had as a family over the years.
The feelings felt like ping pongs, but they just needed to be.
When I launched our podcast there were plenty of opposing feelings! I was excited, energized, and proud, and equally feeling terrified, nervous, and insecure. There were so many what-ifs that cropped up, and there were times I thought I simply couldn’t or shouldn’t do it.
Holding opposing feelings is normal, having the awareness that you have the opposing feelings is key. It is in the place of opposition that you can arrive at more clarity by noticing. (spoiler alert: It often has to do with your inner critic)
TRUST YOUR INTUITION
I am an empath, I am a spiritual being, I may be a bit woo woo, but I’m also a hella lotta logic.
I also know that within us there IS a deep knowing, and I believe we can all tap into it.
When I shared Episode 8 about speaking my truth about childhood sexual abuse, I am sure you can IMAGINE the feelings! There’s a tornado of them there!! AND – intuitively I knew it was time to be public.
A number of women have since reached out to me and thanked me for my honesty and vulnerability. I am but a voice, but I knew intuitively that this was the time for me, my family, and the world. And most importantly, they have been able to give voice to some of their own traumas and move toward feeling whole with it, rather than apart from it. My time to give voice created their time.
Intuition has also meant trusting the connection. I have had the pleasure of meeting with women all over the world virtually and in-person, and I feel increasingly attuned to people’s energy. I have arrived at a space where I trust my “gut” about a connection. Intuitively I know if a relationship will benefit us both, and I have learned to listen to that voice within. If I believe someone would be better served elsewhere, I invite that opportunity too.
How? Ready for this? I can’t even believe I am saying this, but it’s LETTING GO.
If even for 5 minutes a day become intentional about letting go. Intentional breathing, walking with awareness, visualizing your dreams, or listening to a great simple meditation. It’s about stopping all of the to-dos and ta-das and just being. It is incredible what a few minutes can create in the rest of your life, including tapping deeper and deeper into your intuition, or Source.
BEFRIEND YOUR INNER CRITIC
The inner critic is a busy one, and in my world her name is Deja. Deja HereWeGoAgain Poo (as in: I’ve heard this shit before), loves to waltz in.
LET GO OF THE OLD STORY
At the funeral she was quick to tell me I was a terrible daughter in law, it was not my day to feel grief, and that I had emotionally loaded the day myself, not others. It was all my fault. Oh trust me, she was RIGHT THERE.
AND – I had the awareness to notice this was tied to old stories, to fear of rejection for myself and my children, and that I had no other job than to show up authentically, be heart-centred, and love.
She wanted to argue, but with love I reminded her that this day was in my control, not hers. And I promised I’d ride the emotions with her, not against her.
BE THE ADULT IN YOUR OWN LIFE
When I started our podcast and decided to move forward with my truth, Deja told me all of the things that would hurt everyone else. She screamed at me: We are a private family, some secrets are best left as just that, and that there was nothing good that would come from this for my family.
As so, I bravely realize that the little girl within was scared. As the adult I reminded her that we were safe, and that we have a responsibility to model hard things to others, and to talk about truths so our children and the generations after us know it is safe and that they are loved. Even if this did happen to them.
I held her hand and we stepped forward. It hasn’t been easy, but I know it has been right.
BUY THE BIKINI
We also had a pretty important conversation when buying a bikini this summer. Again, she was quick to try and tell me that I didn’t have a bikini body – but I reminded her we already have bikinis. Then she said – stick to black, so I would be an eyesore or draw attention. I thanked her and found a hot pink one reminding her that I love colour. And then she tried to tell me that loud bikinis were for “her” (whoever she is) and not me. And I bought the hot pink bikini.
When you realize what is the inner critic, and what is reality, you become more connected to who runs your show called life. Befriending Deja has been a game changer for me, and she can be a game changer for you too!
RAISE YOUR VIBE
OMG! I am ALL ABOUT THE VIBE!
If you choose one place to start, consider what raises your vibe. I can get into the energy of it all, but what really matters is WHAT FEELS GOOD TO YOU???
If you want to raise your vibration, the energy you feel in life, just do something that feels good to you.
Do you ever get that selfie from a friend that just makes you chuckle? Vibe raise!
(I wish I could share some of the awesomeness I receive!)
So far 2022 has taught me that connection happens between souls, and that, with intuition as my guide, great relationships are growing and being fostered on a deeper level. While some relationships have evolved and may be drifting away, there is always space for more connection with beautiful souls. I trust this, and I have learned so much from the connections worldwide that this adventure has so far brought!
When I have the privilege of sharing space with clients and co-creators from places like Australia, the United Kingdom, and throughout Canada and the US including Florida, Pennsylvania, California and Nevada, GREAT THINGS HAPPEN! Working with incredible women in their pursuit of their juiciest life is a VIBE RAISER like no other and I am grateful!
That’s right. Dance.
In all of the Perfectly Imperfect programs there is an element of practice tracking. One month I decided to track a daily dance.
Every morning I would turn on a high-vibe song, and shake my tushy in a badass sway for the length of at least one song. Nothing but dancing. One song.
I noticed something. My overall mood for the day seemed to be better.
It’s not science, it’s not a research study, it’s noticing. And a dance is high vibe in action for me!
Do you dance? What is high vibe in action for you?
We are affected by the energy we receive, and we affect others with our energy. That’s why nothing beats a dance party (and we have them in the Collective!)
I LOVE the simplicity of gratitude as a way of raising my vibe and the vibe person I thank.
This summer while in Vegas, I was on my way to Starbucks to grab a cold drink (it’s blistering af there in the summer), and passed a homeless fellow asleep in the shade of some trees. Noticing he had a jug for water but little else, I woke him and asked if he’d like be to bring him back something to eat.
I returned with sandwiches, juice, and a muffin and cake pop. Asking him when his birthday was, James shared that November 20, 1960 he was born. I sang happy birthday to James presenting him with the muffin, cake pop stabbed into the top, and asked if we could visit awhile.
We are all human and have the opportunity to learn from one another if we simply are there with HELP (honour, empathy, love and presence).
James shared his story of biker gangs and violence, and his decision to step away from the family so his kids could have a prosperous life, a life apart from violence. He also explained that the deep bruises and scrapes all over his face and body were from his effort to prevent a mother and daughter from being abducted the week before. He laughted, “They got away, so that’s what matters. My scars will heal.”
When James and I parted ways, he told me my face reminded him of his first wife, and his eldest daughter.
He thanked me for lunch and the “nice visit”.
It was I who deeply thanked him. I was honoured that he shared of his life, that I could celebrate him that day, and that in that moment, we both felt seen.
Gratitude for a simple human connection.
Listing gratitude daily is recommended in all Perfectly Imperfect programs. Looking back, I see that I simply wrote “James” as what I was grateful for. The time with him: vibe raise. Reflecting on that day: vibe raise! AND NOW… MORE VIBE RAISE!
Gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving!
Have you considered what lessons 2022 has brought to you?
What would you like the remainder of the year to look like?
Where are you headed for the remainder of the year? What awesomeness will you be looking back on in just a few months?
Enrollment is open for SHINE! This 13-week program starts the beginning of October and it’s a beautiful way to ensure you arrive at the end of the year feeling comfortable, confident, proud, and ready to bring 2023 and all of it’s juiciness!
Maybe this is the sign you’ve been waiting for.
May my lessons provide reflection into your own life and living – and may you be reminded that you have the ability to SHINE in it all with awareness, befriending your inner critic, and raising your vibe.
If you’re looking for a really wonderful song, Lizzo has plenty! Blame it on the JUICE!
Much love to you always!
Hugs, Hip Bumps, and ABV on Sister!