Trifecta of Joy! #1 Bestseller

3 Surprising Lessons from being a Digital Hoarder

Hello Future You

Have you ever considered your future you


Who you will be, what journey life will take you on, and how much control you will have over it? 


This is a past me that never imagined the me of today: (taken 2009)

These memories on Facebook are digital hoarding done for us - and it's kinda cool to see what comes up... 


Yes, I’m dancing on a bar, Yes, I have a pink wig on, Yes, I was terrified I was going to get hip checked off, and YES!  It was fun as hell! LMAO!


That was back in the days when I was in Vegas being recognized as a top leader in “intimacy product” sales…


Learning #1: It is incredible how life changes… 


The other day I experienced an equally nurturing joyful moment doing something entirely different.  Sharing pedicures and coffee with a dear friend, we often find ourselves philosophizing on how beautifully grossly complex life can be. This kind of deep conversation also bring me JOY!  


With all the twists and turns that come from a conversation in harmonic flow, our conversation moved to the direction of control and how we so often want to “feel in control” of things and then we find ourselves either white knucking trying to hold onto it like ooze through our fingers, or we allow the inner critic to tell us stories about how we fail at control. 


We make the choices in the moment with plans for a future, but we can’t control everything – and often we lean into self-control rather than self-love and it comes at a cost.


Perhaps your health, relationships, careers, and wellbeing have suffered because of that deep desire for control.  I know mine have at different points of my life. In a world that moves at such a fast pace, and with so many demands, control feels like the only way through sometimes.


I’ll be the first to admit that there have been plenty of times that control was a coping mechanism I used to try and overcome fear.  The truth is, surrender is always a more gentle and loving approach, but it takes time, practice, and grace to allow for things to unfold. Even as I write this I myself am listening to my words as a reminder that this is a process.


We may not have the control we want in life, but we do have something better – CHOICE.


You have choice in your life, and your clarity is what matters most – but that it must come from that place of deep alignment with what matters most to you.  Otherwise it’s like herding cats – from many directions and feeling unfulfilled (unless herding cats is your thing, no shade).


CHOICE comes from awareness, one of the key elements of the Trifecta of Joy. 


Awareness in what your REAL priorities are, what REALLY matters, and to what level you’re willing to TRUST yourself - and that the Universe has your back. 

It may be overcoming procrastination one tiny step at a time. 


If you were to write a letter to the future you, what would you tell yourself?  I’ve done this several times, and as a digital hoarder, I found this just the other day (small sections edited for privacy of others)


The following is an email from the past, composed on March 07, 2019. It is being delivered from the past through


Dear Tanya,
I'm writing this while home sick. A cold, a sore back, and feeling low in general. What the hell? You've been pretty hard on yourself so far this year, not sticking to your goals, and beating up yourself along the road. Life really doesn't have to be that complicated. I hope when you read this you took the more gentle road to taking care of yourself... you do deserve it!

Can you feel the winds of change? Today.... return to your boys and you. It's not certain if it will be for a week or for longer, until... next great adventure. But whatever the case, it will be a celebration...

Isaac and Alex are such a treasure! Who they will be as adults are being shaped right now, and damn, they're good kids. I know that ... Have you relaxed a bit about that - led with example?

You've been seeing Peter for just over 5 months now. Do you recognize the gift he is? When you read this, I hope you have let your walls down a bit more, leaned comfortably into him a little more, and trusted his love. It's a hard thing to do. He really is so good to you, and good god, you do love one another so deeply. It's the fear. Have you let that go?

When you read this letter, I hope you are as close to, or at your goal weight (165lbs). You've joined a weight loss challenge and done nothing with it to date. It's time to do it gently, but with focus. No more beating yourself up, but remembering what you deserve.

You're going into your 45th year on this planet and what a gift that is! Look how far you've come with life in the absence of John. You're a good mom, and you need to applaud that! Shit - it's a tough road and everyone can be a critic, but until they've been there... well... Fuck them. Your boys know they are loved and that life is good because you love them dearly.

You know, you do have it in you to be an inspiration. Have you started INSPIRE HOPE yet? Have you started writing, not for them, but for YOU? You have things to give, and you will... watch and believe.

When you read this - know something important. You are love, you are loved, and life is a gift. Live with gratitude, cherish your family, trust in the process, and know. Trust what you know.

I love you!


I shared this letter with our SHINE group the other night – because there was so much in there that was to be learned:

  1. Despite the absence of all of the how’s, I had the clarity of what I needed to do to and knew that it was my CHOICE in how I was going to show up, let down my armour, and make those 1% changes. I advised myself to TRUST.

  2. I am now going into my 49th year, and I am grateful as hell to still be here, and being in the place of supporting other in their juicy journey of life. Perfectly Imperfect Life Coaching was born of my life’s purpose to inspire hope. I had no idea then it would be what it is today! And I continue to write...

  3. Hanging on to things sometimes reminds us how far we’ve come, what we've let go, and what truly matters. I thought 165lbs was a big deal.  Living life to the fullest and with a vision for it being amazing or something better is what really matters!


There is a great deal of vulnerability in this letter, and I chose to share it with you because there is a future you out there.  Write to them, tell them what they deserve, what you want for them, and give them some gentle advice if you like.  If you want to talk about creating your future you, just reach out and let’s chat. Your future you is waiting!


Want to write a letter to your future you?


May my digital hoarding be to your benefit. May your future you be met with gentle love and look back with pride in growth, change, and trust.


From my heart to yours.


Hugs, Hip Bumps, Love and Light

Tanya xo